The Lost Art of Listening How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

by ;
Edition: 3rd
Format: Hardcover
Pub. Date: 2021-03-24
Publisher(s): The Guilford Press
List Price: $32.00

Buy New

Usually Ships in 5-7 Business Days

Rent Textbook

Select for Price
There was a problem. Please try again later.

Rent Digital

Online: 180 Days access
Downloadable: 180 Days
Online: 1825 Days access
Downloadable: Lifetime Access

Used Textbook

We're Sorry
Sold Out

This item is being sold by an Individual Seller and will not ship from the Online Bookstore's warehouse. The Seller must confirm the order within two business days. If the Seller refuses to sell or fails to confirm within this time frame, then the order is cancelled.

Please be sure to read the Description offered by the Seller.


"That isn't what I meant!" Truly listening and being heard is far from simple, even between people who care about each other. This perennial bestseller--now revised and updated for the digital age--analyzes how any conversation can go off the rails and provides essential skills for building mutual understanding. Thoughtful, witty, and empathic, the book is filled with vivid stories of couples, coworkers, friends, and family working through tough emotions and navigating differences of all kinds.

Learn ways you can:
*Hear what people mean, not just what they say.
*Share a difference of opinion without sounding dismissive.
*Encourage uncommunicative people to open up.
*Make sure both sides get heard in heated discussions.
*Get through to someone who never seems to listen.
*Ask for support without getting unwanted advice.
*Reduce miscommunication in texts and online.

From renowned therapist Michael P. Nichols and new coauthor Martha B. Straus, the third edition reflects the huge impact of technology and social media on relationships, and gives advice for talking to loved ones across social and political divides

Author Biography

Michael P. Nichols, PhD, has been practicing and teaching family therapy since the 1970s. He is Professor of Psychology at the College of William and Mary. Dr. Nichols is the author of numerous books for general readers, professionals, and students.
Martha B. Straus, PhD, is Professor in the Department of Clinical Psychology at Antioch University New England in Keene, New Hampshire. Dr. Straus consults and trains internationally. The author of books including Treating Trauma in Adolescents, she maintains a small private practice in Vermont.

Table of Contents

I. The Yearning to Be Understood
1. "Did You Hear What I Said?": Why Listening Is So Important
2. "Thanks for Listening": How Listening Shapes Us and Connects Us to Each Other
3. "Why Don’t People Listen?": How Communication Breaks Down
II. The Real Reasons People Don’t Listen
4. "When Is It My Turn?": The Heart of Listening--The Struggle to Suspend Our Own Needs
5. "You Hear Only What You Want to Hear": How Hidden Assumptions Prejudice Listening
6. "Why Do You Always Overreact?": How Emotionality Makes Us Defensive
III. Getting Through to Each Other
7. "Take Your Time--I’m Listening": How to Let Go of Your Own Needs and Listen
8. "I Never Knew You Felt That Way": Empathy Begins with Openness
9. "I Can See This Is Really Upsetting You": How to Defuse Emotional Reactivity
IV. Listening in Context
10. "It Takes Two to Tango": Listening Between Intimate Partners
11. "Nobody Around Here Ever Listens to Me!": How to Listen and Be Heard within the Family
12. "I Knew You’d Understand": Being Able to Hear Friends and Colleagues
13. "I’m Not Wasting My Time Talking to That Person!": How to Listen to People It’s Impossible to Agree With

An electronic version of this book is available through VitalSource.

This book is viewable on PC, Mac, iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch, and most smartphones.

By purchasing, you will be able to view this book online, as well as download it, for the chosen number of days.

A downloadable version of this book is available through the eCampus Reader or compatible Adobe readers.

Applications are available on iOS, Android, PC, Mac, and Windows Mobile platforms.

Please view the compatibility matrix prior to purchase.