
When the Past Is Present Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships
by RICHO, DAVIDBuy New
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Summary
Author Biography
Table of Contents
Introduction | p. 1 |
What Is Transference? | p. 7 |
How We Defend | p. 9 |
Getting You to Feel for Me | p. 11 |
One of Our Habits | p. 12 |
The Birth of Our Expectations | p. 16 |
Do We Hope or Despair? | p. 18 |
How Childhood Continues into Our Adult Relationships | p. 20 |
What Transference Does and Why | p. 27 |
The Clues | p. 28 |
Causes and Choices | p. 30 |
Noticing What We Are Up To | p. 31 |
We Have Good Reasons to Transfer | p. 37 |
Practice: Address, Process, Resolve, and Integrate | p. 42 |
Ways We Can Be Together | p. 47 |
The Real You, the Real Me | p. 51 |
Practice: Presence, Mindfulness, and Loving-kindness | p. 54 |
Reactions and Reacting | p. 59 |
Persons, Pets, Places, and Things | p. 59 |
On the Job Too | p. 62 |
Practice: In the Workplace | p. 64 |
The Critic Within | p. 65 |
Practice: Releasing Ourselves from Our Myths | p. 69 |
Why Others Get to Us as They Do | p. 72 |
Practices | |
Seeing What Gets in the Way | p. 74 |
Opening | p. 75 |
F.A.C.E.-ing Ourselves | p. 75 |
Searching Questions | p. 76 |
From Trigger to Anchor | p. 77 |
Handling Others' Reactions to Us | p. 78 |
Practice: Power in Responding | p. 80 |
How Our Fears Figure In | p. 83 |
Four Fearsome Hurdles | p. 84 |
Comings and Goings | p. 86 |
Giving and Receiving | p. 88 |
Being Accepted and Being Rejected | p. 89 |
Letting Go and Moving On | p. 91 |
Practice: Scaling the Hurdles with Grace | p. 92 |
Our Compulsion to Repeat | p. 96 |
Events Too Huge | p. 99 |
Something Ancient and Primitive Within Us | p. 101 |
Why We Are All So Concerned about Abandonment | p. 103 |
The Impact on Us | p. 105 |
Hate and Hurt | p. 106 |
Practice: Staying with Feeling | p. 107 |
Memories of Mistreatment | p. 109 |
Ongoing Stress | p. 112 |
Our Delicate Timing | p. 114 |
We Don't All Have to Go Back | p. 115 |
Practices | |
Honoring Timing and Lifestyle | p. 117 |
Identifying What Is Missing | p. 118 |
The Physical Dimension | p. 120 |
How the Brain Figures In | p. 123 |
Practice: Alternatives to Freezing Up | p. 126 |
Our Yearning for Both Comfort and Challenge | p. 129 |
Practice: How to Grieve and Let Go | p. 134 |
Grief in the Family | p. 137 |
Regrets and Disappointments | p. 138 |
Practice: Handling Regret and Disappointment | p. 140 |
Mirrors and Ideals | p. 143 |
Our Search for Mirroring Love | p. 144 |
Can't Live without You | p. 145 |
A Bridge Appears | p. 147 |
Where Our Ideals Came From | p. 148 |
The Gift of Self | p. 149 |
How Our Needs Are Transferred | p. 151 |
Transference Meets Us Everywhere | p. 155 |
Practices | |
New Ways of Trusting | p. 156 |
Whom Do We Trust? | p. 157 |
Examining Our Ideals | p. 158 |
Why I Love You But Don't Really See You | p. 160 |
Sex and Our Erotic Transferences | p. 160 |
Sex as Addiction | p. 162 |
Love and In Love | p. 163 |
Daring an Adult Love | p. 165 |
Working Out Our Relationship Clashes | p. 169 |
How Codependency Arises | p. 171 |
Practices | |
Committing to Loving-kindness | p. 172 |
Entering Another's World | p. 173 |
Noticing Transferences in Our Relationships | p. 175 |
Practice: Letting Conflicts Help Us | p. 176 |
Good-Enough Relating | p. 178 |
The Introvert/Extrovert Dimension in Relating | p. 180 |
Working Back in Time | p. 182 |
We Really Can Be Here Now | p. 183 |
Practice: Pausing to Check In and Settle In | p. 185 |
From Transference to Transformation | p. 188 |
Our Psychological Work | p. 188 |
Practice: A Checklist | p. 190 |
How Spiritual Practice Renews Us | p. 191 |
Hidden Help | p. 193 |
How It All Comes Together | p. 194 |
Practice: Opening to Spiritual Shifts | p. 195 |
Transferring beyond the Personal | p. 199 |
The Archetypes We Live With | p. 200 |
Acknowledge or Disavow Our Wholeness? | p. 203 |
The Example of Patriotism | p. 205 |
Religion and Transference | p. 207 |
Light and Dark | p. 210 |
Epilogue: A Jungian View of Our Larger Life | p. 213 |
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
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