More than just a phrasebook with a sense of humor, Wicked Italian, from the series with over one million copies in print, is a cultural survival guide. Confronted with a forgetful innkeeper you'll do better than mumble an apology by learning to say Allora dormiamo nella lobby. ("In that case, we will sleep here in the lobby"). Forced to wait for your dinner you'll say: Bisogna essere Primo Ministro per essere servito qui? ("Must one be Prime Minister to get service here?") Women traveling alone will finally have the phrases they need at their fingertips, such as Contento tu ("Dream on"), Guardi che chiamo la polizia ("I'll call the police"), and Neanche se fosse l'ultimo uomo sulla terra ("Not if you were the last man on earth"). On the other hand, a chapter on "Making Love" teaches the delicate language of amore. Wicked Italian is the next best thing to being named Marcello or Sophia. Ciao!
CONTENTS WELCOME TO ITALY Welcome to Italy...5 Hand-to-Hand Conversation...6 Linguistic Disclaimer...7 THE PRACTICAL TRAVELER Classic Border Pleas...8 Ending Taxi Terror...10 Understanding Your Fare...11 Doing the Locomotion...12 Note to Men...13 Train Travel Tips...14 Throwing the Switch...15 You Can Win at Hotel Negotiation...16 Fending Off Gypsy Curses...18 A Rose Is a Ruse...19 The Italian Phone System...20 Prayer to Saint Ilaria, Virgin of Naples...21 Italian Drugs You May Need...22 How and When to Quote Dante...23 Elementary Cursing...24 DRIVE AND SURVIVE The Automobile: An Italian Love Affair...26 Prayer to Saint Laura of Rome...27 Lying to Policemen: The National Pastime...28 Assorted International Symbols...30 Shouting in Traffic...31 FOOD AND DRINK Beautiful Names of Revolting Dishes and Vice Versa...32 Declining the Imperative...34 Secrets of the Italian Coffee Shop...35 Meaningful Things to Say About Olive Oil...36 Your Inevitable Stains...37 Your Medical Emergency...38 SHOPPING AND SIGHT-SEEING The Shoe and the Wallet...40 Prayer to Saint Ferragamo...41 Armani Versus Our Money...42 Understanding Italian Business Hours...44 Solving the Riddle of Museum Hours...46 RELIGION, POLITICS, AND SPORTS Your Emergency Confession...48 Political Discourse...54 Authentic Screaming for Spectators...52 THOSE FRIENDLY ITALIANS Men: Unleash the Latin Lover Inside You...54 Women: Deflate the Latin Lover Behind You...56 Pet Names: Animal...57 Making Love...58 Pet Names: Vegetable...59 Denying Your Infidelity...61 Pet Names: Celestial...62l Effective Letter-Writing...63
Men: Unleash the Latin Lover Inside You To compete with the Natives, non-European men must know two things: Italian men are willing to exaggerate beyond all the bounds of reason, and women are willing to believe them. Sometimes. I have never known love until now. Non ho mai conosciuto l-Yamore fino ad oggi. The profound mystery of whatever Il profundo mistero di ci che stai dicendo you just said sets my heart on fire. Mi infuoca il cuore. I will kill myself if you ever leave me. Se mi lasci mi uccido. What is your name, my celestial Come ti chiami, mio cestino di frutta fruit basket? celestiale? Your name is like an ageless Il tuo nome suona alle mie orecchie aria to my ears. come una melodia senza eta. What? This man is your husband? Che cosa? Quello tuo marito!? You deserve greater joy than such Meriti ben altra gioia che quella a man could ever provide! che pu dare un tipo cos! You deny our everlasting love!? Neghi l-Yamore eterno!? Then at least give me your phone Almeno dammi il tuo numero di number, my heavenly marinara sauce. telefono, mio sugo alla marinara.
Excerpted from Wicked Italian: For the Traveler by Howard Tomb
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