You Can Lead a Politician to Water, but You Can't Make Him Think : Ten Commandments for Texas Politics
by Kinky FriedmanWe're Sorry
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Summary
Table of Contents
A Preface | p. 1 |
An Introduction: Old Testaments and New Revelations | p. 5 |
Oaf of Office | p. 5 |
See Kinky Run | p. 9 |
Dome Improvement | p. 13 |
remember the Alamo and Keep it Holy | p. 19 |
The Alamo of the Heart | p. 19 |
A Band of Gypsies on a Pirate Ship | p. 22 |
Blessed Is the Match That Kindles the Flame | p. 26 |
Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Mudflaps, or, The Long-term Effects of Apathy upon the Yellow Rose of Texas | p. 31 |
Never Say Fuck in Front of a C-H-I-L-D | p. 39 |
No Teacher Left Behind | p. 39 |
Suggestions to improve the education system in Texas | p. 41 |
Increase teacher salaries | p. 41 |
The Trust for Texas Heroes | p. 41 |
Transfer sports funding | p. 42 |
Get rid of "teaching to the test" | p. 42 |
The Texas Peace Corps | p. 44 |
How Do We Pay for All of This? | p. 45 |
Thou Shalt Fight Wussification | p. 47 |
WWWRD | p. 41 |
Guinnessgate, 2006 | p. 51 |
God Bless Oscar Wilde | p. 55 |
Thou Shalt Throw the Money Changers Out of the Temple, or, I Can Answer That for You, but I Can't Understand It for You | p. 57 |
Suggestions for political reform in Texas | p. 59 |
Same day voter registration | p. 59 |
Mandatory voting | p. 60 |
Fair ballot access | p. 60 |
Initiative and Referendum | p. 61 |
Fair and open debates | p. 61 |
Publicly funded campaigns | p. 64 |
Lobbying reform | p. 64 |
Redistricting reform | p. 65 |
Thou Shalt Not Bullshit, or, Sacred Teachings of the Butt-Sniffing Clan | p. 67 |
K. I. S. S.P. | p. 70 |
Suggestions for dealing with | |
Illegal immigration | p. 70 |
Crime | p. 72 |
Government spending/taxes | p. 72 |
Perry's business tax | p. 73 |
Thou Shalt Not Kill | p. 75 |
Max Soffar | p. 75 |
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy | p. 80 |
My Pet Project | p. 82 |
Thou Shalt Not Eat a Chicken-Fried Steak Bigger Than Your Head, or, Common Sense | p. 89 |
What Has Six Balls and Screws Texans? | p. 90 |
The Santa Anna Highway | p. 92 |
The Five Mexican Generals Plan | p. 95 |
Fuck 'em if They Can't Take a Joke | p. 99 |
Criticize Me All You Want | p. 102 |
The Only Two Good Balls I Ever Hit | p. 103 |
Booze in the Blender | p. 107 |
On the Road Again | p. 110 |
Ask Not if You're Proud of Texas: Ask if You've Made Texas Proud of You | p. 113 |
The Good Shepherd | p. 115 |
Young Voices | p. 117 |
I Have a Dream | p. 118 |
Bird in the Hand | p. 121 |
A Truth-Seeking Missile: A Tribute to Molly Ivins | p. 123 |
Acknowledgments | p. 129 |
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
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